Who knows

Its been quite a while since i've updated, I only seem to come and post when I need to vent. It gives me chance to let everything out in the open so I don't have to keep it bottled up inside of me.

We had Alexis's first christmas. It was so amazing, seeing her get all excited for her presents. She made out as one spoiled baby. She is almost 9 months old and gosh, the time is flying by. I hate how fast its going. I recently quit my job at Gymboree, so I wouldn't miss anything.

I feel like she is never gonna crawl. She took her 1st step towards crawling today and I was so happy I got to see it. I know they say every baby is different, but it's so frustrating to see babies younger than Alexis crawling. I don't care when people say she is gonna be into everything. I want her into everything at this point.

I loved working at Gymboree, it gave me a chance to be out of the house, and to make some extra money. I didn't want to quit, but I rather quit then miss any of my little girls milestone. It was nice getting the discount and have Alexis always dressed in cute clothes. But I'm glad I left on good terms.

Lately I haven't been feeling so good about myself. I don't feel pretty anymore, I never want to take the time to get all dolled up, even if its just to Walmart. I always used to. I think my new "mom" body is getting to me as well. Whenever I walk by a cute bathing suit, I always say to myself, "I'll never be able to wear a two piece again". It sucks, I mean I love the reason why my body is now like this, but I hate not feeling pretty anymore.

I'm always tired now, it seems no matter how much sleep I get, I'm exhausted the next day. I think my postpartum is still lingering. I'm already on meeds, and I don't want to have to go up a dosage, but I want to feel happy again.

Just updating and venting a little

I know it's been a while since my last update. I just always forget about updating it. I'll fill you in a little bit on what has been going on. Alexis is officially 6 months old! I don't know where the time went. It's crazy to think, that in another 6 months she is gonna be a year. It's going by to fast, I wish I could slow it down. She is trying so hard to crawl, she just hasn't gotten the motions perfected yet. I haven't found any teeth yet, but she is drooling and chewing like crazy!

I don't know what it is lately, but it seems that all of my "friends" with babies are really ticking me off. I should say certain "friends". They haven't done anything, i've just gotten to the point where i'm fed up with them. I feel like they think there babies are better than mine, and that their a better mom. It really bothers me. I mean a lot of them are still living at home, aren't married, or even know who the baby's father is. I mean come on! One of them is married, but didn't get married till finding out she was pregnant. She also lives at home, with her husband. I know I don't have right to judge, but I had to express how I was feeling.

Another thing that is really really pissing me off. I'm not scared to mention her name... This women Erin thinks, her baby is so much better because she is still breast fed. I mean hello, I already feel bad about having to stop, but some mom's can't breast fed till the baby is like 3. She always makes comments about how Alexis wouldn't be having troubling gaining weight if I was still breastfeeding. That makes me feel like complete CRAP! Her baby is a month younger than Alexis, and already weights 18 pounds. She is always pointing it out to other people, that her baby is younger and is bigger than Alexis. It pisses me off so bad! I mean Alexis is gonna be a tiny baby, Josh and I aren't very big.

Hectic Weekend

It's been a hectic weekend. Friday I took Alexis to the teddy bear picnic here on base with Kelli, Jessica, and the 3 girls. It was very hot out. She pretty much slept through the whole thing. I didn't have a teddy bear for Alexis but we had a stuffed giraffe. We had another doctors appointment for Alexis. She gained 3 oz in a week, and they put her on Zantac for acid reflux. So hopefully she'll gain even more weight now. It's become a weekly routine going to the doctors for weight checks. It's annoying but well worth it. I want to make sure my baby girl is healthy. She's almost 3 months. Time flies, it feels like it was just yesterday when we brought her home from the hospital.

After the appointment, we went to Gymboree and got $110 dollars worth of clothes for $30 dollars. Such a good deal. After the mall we went to dinner and mini golfing with Issy and Myles. Let me tell you I still hate mini golfing... I suck at it so bad, I usually give up by the 9th hole, and I did. It was the 1st time bringing Alexis mini golfing... It wasn't bad, she pretty much slept through the whole thing. The only hard part was the stairs... Trying to carry a stroller up and down stairs isn't fun.

Saturday the 1st thing on our list was grocery shopping. I hate grocery shopping, but who doesn't. It was a pretty quick shopping trip. We came home and unloaded the car and it felt like we were back out the door to go pick Pieter up. Carly had to go to Ohio for a wedding, and the bride and groom didn't allow kids... So we took him for her. It wasn't bad at all. He listen to us very well. It made me think that maybe Josh and I can handle another baby in like 4 years.

Sunday was also busy. We made breakfast, had to give both the kids a bath. Both Josh and I had to shower as well. After all the baths were done, we left the house to go check on Pieter's cats and Nick's fish. After leaving there we were running rather early. We went to Wal-Mart, to pick up Jenna's birthday present. After Wal-Mart we were still an hour to early, so we drove around for like 20 minutes then finally went over to the party.

Pieter had fun at the party there were tons of kids for him to play with. He didn't want to leave but we had to go home and cook dinner so we could bring him home. Let me tell you he did not want to leave at all. It was sad :[ He cried when we were leaving. We told him he could come visit us anytime. We came home and pretty much went right to bed. We were exhausted.

Over a month

It's been over a month. My Mom came down and finally met her grand-daughter. It was nice seeing my mom. I missed her. Alexis had her 1st fourth of July. We didn't see any fireworks... It got to buggy to sit out side. We went to the freedom fest on the 2nd. It was okay. The food wasn't good and it was way to packed. The 3rd we had a cookout with our friends. It was fun. My mom helped out a lot, so it made things much easier. On the 4th Carly came over and took pictures of Josh, Alexis and I. After Carly left, we went to go visit my mom and her old friend Dave. We didn't have long before we had to head out to go to Patriot's Point for the fireworks. We got there and it was way to buggy and didn't have the best smell.

We left Patriot's Point and came home. On the way home there we're these kids shooting fireworks off in the Burger King parking lot. It was a pretty funny show. The BK manger came out yelling at them, and the boys started shooting them towards the building. After that we came home and just relaxed. My mom left on the 6th to go back to New Hampshire.

We had a doctors appointment for Alexis on the 1st for her 2 months shots... That was so hard for me. She did pretty good with the shots tho. She cried but I cried more. She fell asleep soon after getting her shots. She was such a trooper. After wasn't that bad, she didn't run a fever at all. (Thank god)

She had another doctors appointment on the 7th... The old doctor was concerned because Alexis isn't gaining weight fast enough. She was gonna try to admit Alexis to MUSC... Which I find kind of a drastic measure, since the doctor hasn't suggested anything, like changing the formula and such. Alexis was 6 lbs 6 oz at birth and is now 9 lbs 5 oz... She'll be 3 months on the 22nd, but both me and josh are small & petite.

The new doctor told me to stop feeding her on demand pretty much and to feed her 3 oz every 3 hours using 5 oz of water and 3 scoops of formula. Hopefully it's working. She has another Doctors appointment this coming Friday to see if she has gained any weight. I hope she has. I hate seeing my baby girl so tiny. I want her to plump up :]

Well she just woke up so I'll have to finish later!

It's been almost a month

It's been almost a month since my last updated, but I've just been so busy. My sister has come and gone. She left Saturday the 5th. I was sad to see her go but she had some stuff she had to do back home. I officially had my 1st day alone with Alexis on Monday. It went very well. We took a walk with Kelli & Maddie, Jess & her girls! I had a good time.

Alexis is getting so big. She smiling and cooing. It's amazing. I wouldn't change anything. She is getting such a personality. I'm still waiting for the giggles to start. She is awake more and I have my hands full more now, then when she 1st came home. I love waking up in the morning and going to look at Alexis in her bassinet and she just smiles up at me. It's the best feeling in the world.


Josh's mom and his niece are supposed to come down the weekend of the 19th. I'm excited. Josh's mom hasn't seen Alexis since she was born and it will be his nieces 1st time meeting her. My mom is coming down June 26th-July 7th. I can't wait. It's been since February 09 since I've seen her. She's finally gonna meet her 3rd granddaughter!

First bath!

Alexis got her first real bath the other day. She did wonderful! She didn't cry at all. I think she is gonna be a water baby. She doesn't seem to mind the water. She sat in her tub like a big girl and sucked away on her fingers. I feel like shes getting so big already. We got her weighed on Friday and she was at 6lbs 11oz. Talking about weight. I've lost 23 pounds since having her. I mean most of that was baby, placenta and fluid, but its pretty good since I gained 39lbs during my pregnancy. Yesterday we went shopping for some new shirts for me. It was my mother's day present, and it felt good to buy myself something. Josh made me breakfast in bed as well. It was a nice relaxing day.

I'm excited! My sister flies in tonight! I can't wait. It's been a while since I've seen her. She's excited to get to meet her niece! We'll we have some errands to run before she gets here!

Busy Couple Days

It's been a busy couple of day. Tuesday we had Alexis's 2 week check up. She weighs 6lbs 10 oz now. She's getting so big, it's crazy. It's going so fast already. From the doctors we went to PSD to add Alexis to Josh's PG2 & DEERS. (Military stuff) After running to PSD, we went to the commissary and went food shopping the fastest we've ever done. We were in and out in no time. We came home and unloaded the groceries when we got the call that our car was ready. We had been driving a loaner until the car we purchased was shipped to the dealership. We picked up the car and came back home.

After coming home, we gave Alexis a bath and got her ready for bed. I fed her and went to go change her diaper... and noticed her umbilical cord had fallen off! So now we can give her a real bath! Today Alexis and myself hung out with Ashley for a bit when Josh went and got the 45 day base pass. After Ashley went home, Josh, Alexis and I went to Wendy's to get some food. I didn't feel like cooking... But its been like that since I've had Alexis. I can't wait for Monday, that's when my sister flies in! I can't wait. It's been over a year since I've seen her. Well Alexis should be waking up soon for a feeding, after her feeding, I'm heading to bed!